Mein Plan

[when_the_time_comes]

Grüße, ich bin neu hier im Forum!

Ich bin seit vielen Jahren Mitglied bei Dignitas, habe mich aber entschieden, erst dann für eine VAD in die Schweiz zu reisen, wenn sich meine häusliche Situation geändert hat. Ich hoffe, das erklärt meine Wahl des Benutzernamens.

Ich bin 56 Jahre alt, männlich, leide seit meiner Kindheit unter einer psychischen Erkrankung und bin auf hohe Medikamentendosen angewiesen. Ich bin alleinstehend und habe seit Ende der 90er Jahre nicht mehr gearbeitet. Dignitas hat mich in den Jahren, in denen ich mit ihnen kommuniziert habe, sehr unterstützt und immer umgehend auf meine Fragen geantwortet. Sie haben auch Verständnis für meine Situation und ich bin überzeugt, dass sie für mich da sein werden, wenn ich mich endlich dazu entscheide, in die Schweiz zu reisen – wenn es soweit ist.

Es tut mir leid, dass ich kein Wort Deutsch/Schweizerisch spreche, aber ich verlasse mich auf die Übersetzung des Forums. Es tut mir auch leid, von anderen in diesem Forum und ihren Problemen zu lesen – viele davon kenne ich. Ich hoffe aufrichtig, dass Ihre Wünsche erfüllt werden.


(London, Großbritannien)

[Lexx]

Hi and a warm welcome to this forum!
By using this platform in English language, I wondered if all German posts appear already translated on your screen automatically, or do you have to copy and paste them into some online translator? I am asking since on my own display I actually do see your message just as you wrote it in English, although my selected personal user language is German.

However, it's a pretty rare moment spotting an English post in here, so right now I'm surprised and really overwhelmed to read about you and your tragic story. I'm deeply sorry you've been suffering for your whole life, and I hope your mentioned domestic situation implies that there is somebody around you don't want to leave alone and of course who cares and comforts you, so that at least you are not all on your own dealing with the desperate circumstances.

It is so good to learn that Dignitas is offering their services to people from other countries who are willing to travel to Switzerland "when the time comes"- having this option in mind must be such a great relief. The work of Dignitas and familiar organisations is really outstanding and remarkable, and I think it is a matter of high importance to provide a perfectly safe, peaceful and professionally guided last escort to everyone who is in need.

Kindest regards, Lexx ♡ ༻˖ ࣪ ∗

Add: In the meantime while I was writing my answer in English as well, your post actually was translated into German;)) The forum translation seems to work!!

[when_the_time_comes]

Thanks for your warm welcome Lexx. I did originally post in English but saw I was the only one so I copied & pasted into Google Translate. That must have been the post you saw but I deleted it to avoid confusion.

You are right that my domestic situation means someone close to me. I am waiting for this elderly family member to pass before I embark on my voluntary aided death abroad as I really won't want them left on their own. Dignitas have been very kind and supportive by keeping the door open this way. It is indeed a huge relief to know this is permitted.

Mental illness has always been a huge part of my life and is not limited to just one ailment - I have a few. To reassure people like myself that they can choose their exit one day really is commendable and I owe a lot to Dignitas.

By the way, would you prefer that I post in English as you have replied? I can easily translate.

[Lexx]

Hi
Just to speak for myself, English would be perfectly fine- in Germany it is common to learn English at school, and due to my experiences I could imagine that in Switzerland and Austria, language skills are even way better.

I'm so glad you are not alone, and your decision to stay here until your beloved family member has passed reminds me on a very touching text passage I read only a few months ago: To live on in spite of feeling an overpowering desire to leave this world was defined as one of the greatest proofs of love and also one of the most selfless acts that could ever been performed by a human being. I totally agree with that, so your kind attitude is really compassionate, sympathetic, admirable and heart-warming.

Bad enough suffering from one serious illness, it must be such a hard situation for you to deal even with several ailments since like forever. Establishing the massive horrifying struggle of people with mental / psychological disorders as equal as the agony of those with severe physical deseases for permission to VAD is quiet a very promising development, and I hope that some day it would be a socially accepted and officially sanctioned option for every adult whose living conditions became permanently unbearable by individual personal reasons.

In the other thread I read that you try to make it as an inventor for mobile apps- that sounds really exciting!!
I think it would be the perfect job for a creative mind, being able to work at home, flexible and whenever good ideas come kicking in, not being bound to some dull office place and fixed working hours. A former friend of mine actually worked as an artist and webdesigner, usually preferring to operate at night since that was his most productive time.

[when_the_time_comes]

Thank you for your kind words again Lexx and for recognising my dilemma.

I have always maintained that suicide is unfair to your parents which is why I will wait for their passing before I travel abroad to carry out my exit. I have to reiterate that Dignitas have been very understanding of this and (if I am allowed to use names) Silvan Luley in particular has been by my side for over a decade of meaningful communication.

The good thing is I am not desperate. I am kept stable by a heavy cocktail of medication which although does not cure, has kept me stable over the years. Psychiatry is something I can swear by - that is, until a cure to all mental illness gets discovered. I wish that for everyone here.

[Lexx]

It is so good you are not desperate and that your medication is working fine enough to help you arranging with the given circumstances. According to your texts it is quiet obvious that you are in very stable conditions, which is absolutely wonderful- honestly I wished my own mental attitude would be at least half as clear, calm, steady and focussed.

Having once made the tough decision to wait until the time is right and strictly keeping to this plan for even more than a decade in such a patient manner is huge, not only demonstrating your exceptionally strong will but also expressing your unconditional love and concern for your parents.

I totally agree how important it is being able to talk about these highly sensitive topics of ours to someone who genuinely understands, so having been accompanied by Dignitas and particularly by one dear and caring contact person constantly through the years must be a great support.

I am deeply grateful to Dignitas, too, for providing this very special platform to everybody who is searching for information, exchange of experiences and frank conversation- it is really a blessing having a place to share one's own true thoughts and emotions with a similarly affected, insightful and kind community.

[when_the_time_comes]

Yes, I am highly grateful to Dignitas and the community they have provided here. I hope to engage in good correspondence on the forum long before I make my journey to Switzerland.